27. Give away something that is meaningful and important to me.
When I first showed this list to a friend, she asked me if I had something specific in mind when I wrote number twenty-seven. I didn't. It was just something that came to me as I wrote the list and I figured whatever it was would just come to me when the time was right and I would know it.
I didn't think it was going to happen. I thought about it from time to time over the last year and I just didn't have something to give away, or someone to give this unknown object to. I couldn't come up with anything and I was coming to terms with it being one of several things on my list that wouldn't be crossed off by my birthday.
Then a few days ago I was skimming through my emails, deleting a lot of daily digests from email groups when something caught my eye on freecycle. Most of the time I don't even read the freecycle emails, just click and delete. But there it was, my eyes were drawn to it, "Wanted: Flute and/or music stand."
Ohhhhh...I don't know if I can do this.
I immediately sent an email to my friend (and to Lyle) asking them what I should do. No one would tell me what to do though, just all this wishy-washy stuff, "maybe you should, maybe you shouldn't, follow your heart!" Bah!
I forgot about it for the rest of the day. Then I was laying in bed that night and I remembered it and my first thought was, "Oh no, what if someone else already offered her a flute?!" Right, as if that would be a problem. If someone did, then great--she gets a flute and I get to keep mine locked away in my trunk for another fifteen years. But I guess when I had that thought I knew it was right. Some kid out there should be playing this flute. It's not perfect with its dings and a bit of tarnish. It wasn't a high quality flute to begin with, but I got it in the fourth grade and played for six years before retiring it to my trunk of keepsakes. I took it out every few years to play a scale or two and then put it away. It is meaningful to me, it is important, it is sentimental. But a flute should never sit in a box. It should be played, and if I am honest with myself I'm not likely to start playing it again.
But oh, when I took it out and played (ahem,
tried to play) a few scales and Lucy asked for a turn I did second guess myself. My friend had said, "I am wondering why you wouldn't save it for your kids. I mean, if you want my honest first gut response, that is it," (and then she started in on all the wishy washy stuff). What if...what if my kids want to play the flute someday?
I gave it away anyway. Maybe I'll be looking for another flute in the future, but this flute wanted someone to play her now and I didn't want to play the "what if" game. I didn't want to open my trunk a few years from now and see my flute in there and wonder if that little girl ever got a flute.
The next day I got an email:
"Thank you so much for your flute! My daughter
was so excited yesterday when she came home from school ... it will be
well cared for I promise. "
I gave it away, and I'm glad I did.